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We’ve done it again. For the second year in a row, the bushes in our large wooden porch planters died on our watch. It was a classic case of miscommunication: Sherry thought I was watering them, I thought she was, Clara had no idea either way, and Burger cheerfully “watered” other plants in the yard. By the time we noticed, the greenery had already gone crispy. Sherry tried desperately to revive them with daily dousing over the last few weeks, but it was too late. We both shoulder the blame. It’s annoying, but also a little embarrassing—so here’s the honest, unvarnished account.
With autumn arriving, we reverted to our tried-and-true quick porch refresh: two yellow mums from Home Depot. We used the same approach as last year, and the mums cost about $18 total. They’re hardy, inexpensive, and instantly lift the porch’s curb appeal for the season. But this year there was an unexpected resident tucked among the dead bushes—a very large spider.
The spider showed up early in the mum project. Since we don’t use our front door all that often, it’s impossible to know how long it had been there. When we finally spotted it, the size and leg span were startling—enough to make the hair on the back of your neck stand up. I’m not exaggerating when I say it looked like a cross between a hermit crab and some villainous creature from a movie. For scale, it was nearly half the size of the porch light bulb. Not tiny, and not exactly the ideal neighbor for the front step.
After a few moments of internet-assisted reassurance (and mild panic), I decided to clear out the dead plant materials and get the mums in place as quickly as possible. I yanked the spent shrubs from the planters, left the old soil in place, and simply set the mums—still in their plastic nursery pots—on top. It’s a fast, low-effort method that looks great from the street and keeps the planters full for the season.
The new mums looked instantly better than the dessicated bushes. We’ll transplant them into the ground somewhere in the yard after the season; that way they can continue to thrive without needing a full porch replant next year. For now, they brighten the entry and give the porch an autumnal touch without much fuss.
As for our eight-legged acquaintance, I wasn’t willing to let it take up residence right at face height beside the door. Spiders are useful, but not when they’re the first thing guests see. I used a broom to gently sweep its web, hoping to encourage a polite relocation rather than a violent eviction. In a surprising move, the spider leapt straight into one of the new mums. The irony wasn’t lost on me: we replaced dead bushes with fresh, welcoming flowers, and the spider promptly moved into one of them.
He seemed perfectly content inside the left mum, so the spider has officially “changed addresses.” If you’re planning to drop by with Girl Scout cookies or to visit, you might want to give the left planter a quick glance before reaching for the porch rail. Despite the initial shock, the whole episode ended without incident—no face-eating spiders, no dramatic swatting—and the porch now looks refreshed and fall-ready.
There are still some larger porch projects on our list—like adding a new doormat, framing out the columns, painting the siding, and staining the concrete floor—but for a quick autumn update, two mums do the trick. And if the spider decides to stay put until the weather cools, we’ll just consider it an unexpected, very large fall decoration.
Pssst—Sherry did a fun phone interview that just went live on the site; click the play button next to the audio icon to listen. Also, check out this week’s Ikea gift card winners on the blog.
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