John’s dad, nicknamed “El Cheapo,” has always been one of our money-management role models. He isn’t someone who lives without comforts or wears ragged shoes; he simply prioritizes what matters most to him. He’ll save for a reliable family vehicle or a vacation home where the family can gather, and he’ll skip the things that aren’t as important, like expensive restaurant meals or an enormous flat-screen TV. Personal priorities differ—if a big TV brings you more joy than a minivan, then by all means save for that—but Tom’s approach shows how deliberate choices can stretch your dollars without sacrificing happiness.

Tom methodically saves for major purchases, researches thoroughly, and then uses those items until they’ve well outlived typical expectations. That translates to a far lower cost per year or per mile than many people realize. For example, he still drives a fully functional 1998 Nissan Quest with over 300,000 miles on it, while his wife drives a new Honda Pilot. They saved for the Pilot, but since the Nissan still runs, his philosophy is simple: why replace something that isn’t broken? In short, he knows what’s worth spending on and what’s worth cutting back on, and he isn’t shy about redirecting money toward the things that bring real value and joy to his family.

We mentioned both Tom and my father in a previous discussion about how we budget and afford numerous DIY projects. After reading that post, Tom sent a short, memorable email that we wanted to share. We’re always surprised and delighted when family members tell us they read the blog, and his message felt timely and wise. Below are his words, which capture his view on frugality and priorities:

“Loved your frugal blog post! Funny thing: I was just ‘admiring’ that puffy painted tie from John yesterday. But onward to the main point: too often frugality is incorrectly viewed as ‘giving up,’ when the real point of frugality is ‘getting what you really really want.’ Many times I think the main point of frugality isn’t in ‘not buying;’ the main point of frugality—and perhaps life—is to recognize what brings you the greatest rewards and to go enthusiastically for those things. When Kathy and I got married, buying our first home was a biiig stretch, all $27,500, but we loved every minute of it. And buying our current home was a bigger stretch, but it has been a great blessing. And they were both ‘frugal’ decisions. The point is, if you as a person truly derive great pleasure from something, the frugal behavior is to ‘go for it’—enthusiastically and whole hog. Who cares if you’re not going out to dinner if the money you’re saving can afford you the things you really want? What is given up means little compared with the pleasure of the better choices.” — Love, Tom/Dad

Those lines resonated with us, and we thought they might resonate with you too. Frugality isn’t about deprivation; it’s about aligning spending with what you value most. For some people, that could mean investing in a home, saving for a long-term trip, funding a child’s education, or creating a meaningful family gathering place. For others, it could mean splurging on creative tools, a hobby, or experiences that spark joy. The key is intentionality: knowing what to sacrifice now so you can enjoy what truly matters later.

We’d love to hear the lessons your parents or older relatives taught you about money, priorities, or living intentionally. What habits have they passed down that still guide your choices? Share the values and small rituals that have shaped your household’s approach to saving, spending, and pursuing the things that bring the most reward. Those stories are the real legacy, and they often offer a practical roadmap for making thoughtful financial decisions that support a richer life.