We did it again. For the second year running, the bushes in our big wooden porch planters have dried up and died. Cue the embarrassment.

It was a classic miscommunication: Sherry thought I was watering them, I thought she was, Clara had no idea what watering even meant, and Burger was more interested in “watering” other plants in the yard. By the time we noticed, it was too late. Sherry tried desperately to revive them, pouring five cups of water on them each day for weeks, but the foliage remained crispy. We’re all to blame, and we’re all a little sad. So here we are owning it—picture us feeling sheepish and promising to do better next season.

With fall arriving, we followed the same quick fix we used last year and picked up two yellow mums from Home Depot to replace the dead bushes. They were inexpensive, cheerful, and exactly what the porch needed. But this year our planting plans came with an unexpected guest. If you missed it in the earlier photo, here’s a closer look (warning: a spider makes an appearance).

…and if you’re brave enough, here’s a closer shot.

There he was. If you have any nightmares tonight, you can blame us. This spider had long, pointy legs and a hunched, almost hermit-crab-like profile—enough to give anyone the creeps. In photos it’s hard to convey scale, but when you compare it to the nearby light bulb, it was impressively large. Big and intimidating, yes, but thankfully not aggressive.

We found our eight-legged neighbor at the start of the mum project. Who knows how long he had been hanging out—the front door doesn’t get much use—but it was clear he preferred porch life. I admit I wasn’t thrilled about sharing the entrance to our house with a giant spider, no matter how beneficial spiders can be in controlling pests.

I moved quickly, removed the dead bushes from their planters, and set the new mums—pots and all—right into the leftover soil. It was a speedy swap and looked pretty good once everything was in place. The mums are hardy, so after the season we plan to plant them directly in the yard rather than leaving them in their plastic nursery pots. That way they’ll have a better chance of thriving and we won’t have to replace porch plants so often.

The best part? The spider didn’t dive-bomb me while I was planting. For a moment I felt lucky—maybe he’s one of the “useful” spiders that help keep bugs away.

I was ready to call it a day and photograph the finished porch, but I couldn’t let spiders win by default. Even if they’re good for the garden, I don’t want one hanging at face height by the front door. So I gave the web a light sweep with a broom to encourage my visitor to relocate gently.

In a surprising twist, he jumped straight into one of the new mums. The irony was strong.

He seemed fine there—no face-eating attempts reported—and for now he’s chosen the mum on the left as his new address. Consider yourself warned if you plan to stop by with cookies or a package.

Pssst—Sherry did a short phone interview that just went live on our site. And we also announced this week’s Ikea gift card winners in another post.